Swim away the stress.

Today, I am feeling stressed and lethargic. I did not do what I am suppose to. I have no motivation. The weather is so hot and humid. I feel pain in my tummy. I am worried what's wrong with me, but I try not to think about it. But the pain is still there...

I went for a swim and swam 12 laps. Usually I will swim 10 laps, but today I swam 12. I like the peace and calmness when I soaked my head in the water. I can hear my "blow bubbles". HOw I wish I can soak myself in the water just like the fishes and listen to the bubbling sound in the water. After swimming, I felt warm today. Maybe it's the weather or maybe I was sweating cos I swam "hard". I had a soak in the jacuzzi for about 20 minutes. Then I swam another two laps before going for a shower.

I watched the TV after dinner. There's a scene of someone having a miscarriage with lots of blood flowing down the legs. I felt very sad and scared... The scene put some shiver to my nerves. My imagination went wild. I am scared that I will have to go through that too if I do get pregnant again...

May God Bless me...

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Thinking about reality:

I am reading articles on Buddhanet again. These are the quotes that I came across:

"When you really feel the need to seek refuge, we must always keep in our minds that the Buddha can't help us without us helping ourselves first. The phenomenon of merely praying for help is rampant, especially with students during the examination periods, without realising this simple and subtle truth - we are our best help, only if we try. It is dangerous not to realise that, for then, not only is the problem left unsolved, we might start to shift the blame to those we expect help to come from."

"It is better to conquer oneself than to win a thousand battles."

"Smile: The definition of Giving in Buddhism is the widest you can ever dream of. Even a simple sincere smile at a stranger is a gift of Loving-kindness. The next time you catch a stranger in the eye, don't look away abruptly or glare on lifelessly. Generate a thought of well-being for him or her and smile! What a simple yet effective way of creating positive karmic connections!"