"How to win friends and influence people"

I do not have high EQ, and hence, suffered a little. It will take lots of time to correct my behaviour. And along the way, I think I had "offended" some people unknowingly. I am trained in Engineering (excuse number 1 :P). Like a lot of people say, "Engineers are square." hahaha... Throughout the few years of training in engineering, I am really "square". Except, and luckily, my face is still round... lol...

For the past one year of attending courses and interacting with people from WBG, my EQ has improved. The courses are mainly on the soft skills which we were not taught in school. There's still lots of room for improvement though :). Actually, I am glad that I have found this environment. It's a happy and positive environment, which is ideal for me, especially when I was in depression. The "chi" of the place is good for one's soul :). hmm... some of you might be thinking about what is this WBG... It's a network marketing company involved in MDM (multi-dimensional marketing). I shall not elaborate on this here. I am suppose to write on how to improve my EQ :). For more information, or if you are interested to join, you can email to indinine@gmail.com for more details.

I came across a book by Dale Carnegie titled "How to win friends and influence people." I have this book for very long already, but just haven't got the time and urge to read it. I want Aloysius to know some of the tips from this wonderful book while he's growing up. In order for him to get this knowledge and also to practice the tips effectively, the parents gotta set an example rite?? :)

I will have to find some time to read this book thoroughly. For now, I will write down the principles here. It's a reminder to myself too :) hmm... how to make all these into flashcards to show to Aloysius, I thought... hahaha...


Principle 1:
Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof," said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean."
- Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do.

Principle 2:
Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- The human nature: "The desire to be important."

Principle 3:
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Principle 4:
Become genuinely interested in other people.
- "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.

Principle 5:
Smile.
- Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless - that there is joy in the world.

Principle 6:
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle 7:
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principle 8:
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Principle 9:
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Principle 10:
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle 11:
Show respect to the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

Principle 12:
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principle 13:
Begin in a friendly way.

Principle 14:
Get the other person saying, "yes, yes" immediately.

Principle 15:
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Principle 16:
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Principle 17:
Try honestly to see tings from the other person's point of view.

Principle 18:
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

Principle 19:
Appeal to the nobler motives.

Principle 20:
Dramatize your ideas.

Principle 21:
Throw down a challenge.

Principle 22:
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Principle 23:
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

Principle 24:
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Principle 25:
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Principle 26:
Let the other person save face.

Principle 27:
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."

Principle 28:
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Principle 29:
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Principle 30:
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.