Peace for me...

Hello bloggers,

I am peacefully having my lunch now with some relaxing classical music :). Yummy… I just stirred fried rice with lots of sesame oil, ginger, garlic and pumpkin. It tastes quite good to me. Plus my mum’s 爱心 pork. She cooked for me in the morning in JB and asked my brother to bring it for me. I felt so loved by my mum and felt so touched today :). Hmm… Am I being emotional or what? Hee… Just now, I was thinking, what am I feeling. Somehow I felt angry that she’s not around to help me. On the other hand, I felt that my dad need her more than me. Then I thought about POV. From POV, I learnt that the elder child of the family will usually have “attention fight” with the daddy. Hmm… I cannot recall the exact word they use. The eldest child will usually fight for attention from the mommy since birth with the daddy, unless we are willing to heal and accept this. I am the eldest. Perhaps it’s in the subconscious or unconscious mind. I am seeing this in Aloysius and his daddy too. It’s shown in some of the actions they have. Think I have this challenge with my dad too. My mum gotta stay with my dad, cos there’s a risk that he will get heart attack anytime. And I am here having mixed feeling whether my mum should be helping me or my dad more. How to heal this part? I have no idea man… Maybe I will have to ask my sister who has gone through POV apprenticeship, and POV trainer to be.

Aloysius is in JB under the care of my mum and dad today. He was so happy last nite when we asked him if he wanna go to JB. He got lots of “ransack” and explore there, including escalating the window grilles to near the ceiling! Wow… practicing his motor skills eh? But it’s scary to us… hahaha…

I am home with Bernice and Charlene now. I am still coping well with them. They will just wake up to drink milk and sleep. But these few days, their waking hours is getting longer. I will try to do the balance activities recommended by Glen Doman with them. They wanted to be carried to fall asleep. I am really sorry that I gotta let them cry hard sometimes, cos I was busy. I am hoping that things will get better when my helper arrives. No, I am sure it will be better :).

Yesterday, I was home alone with all the 3 of them. I almost gone crazy in the afternoon after Aloysius woke up from his nap. Aloysius hurt his toe and was bleeding. He was crying very loudly and unconsoleably. I am wondering why his pain tolerance suddenly became so low. Attention seeking? Maybe… Or spoilt by the grandparents? Could be another reason too. Then Bernice and Charlene woke and cried for milk. I gotta feed them and entertain Aloysius to keep him happy. After the milk feed, I gotta prepare lunch for Aloysius and feed him. Bernice and Charlene decided that they wanna be carried to sleep and refused to lie on the bed. In the end, I gotta sling Charlene, carry Bernice on the other side, and preventing Aloysius from “ransacking” my kitchen. He was on the kitchen knife yesterday! It was madness. After ransacking my kitchen, Aloysius decided to climb and sit on the dining table to throw the things on the floor. ***faintz*** Finally, I managed to coax the gals to sleep in the cot. Then I prepared lunch for Aloysius. That was 3pm already :(. The gals were only willing to sleep in the cot for a few minutes. I gotta go in and out of the kitchen to carry and put them down again, and continue my food preparation. It was really tiring. Then Aloysius spit out his rice on the table and floor, and put out his hand to ask me to “beat beat”. ***faintz*** I did not beat him and did not say anything about it. And he stopped doing that. Phew… Then I continued to soothe the gals, carry and put down many times, and at the same time feeding Aloysius. Sweat… My home was like a war zone yesterday afternoon. Hahaha… My BIL came back early yesterday. Phew… he came back to help me to play with Aloysius, while I rest in bed. My legs and back were aching. He helped me to carry the gals for a while when they woke. Then Aloysius decided to climb on the bed to sleep beside me. When my parents came, he woke up and went to JB. What a day I had!

Today is more peaceful :) I was thinking how long can I last like this. Perhaps I will need a day off from the kids and have some time solely for myself once a month. I felt so imbalanced and deprived of my own time. I cannot even go to the toilet in peace sometimes. Okie dokie, I finished my yummy lunch. Gotta go and rest already. I am exhausted and aching all over again… Later gotta capture some nice photos of Bernice and Charlene to apply their passport. Kiko mat here I come… :)