"How to win friends and influence people"

I do not have high EQ, and hence, suffered a little. It will take lots of time to correct my behaviour. And along the way, I think I had "offended" some people unknowingly. I am trained in Engineering (excuse number 1 :P). Like a lot of people say, "Engineers are square." hahaha... Throughout the few years of training in engineering, I am really "square". Except, and luckily, my face is still round... lol...

For the past one year of attending courses and interacting with people from WBG, my EQ has improved. The courses are mainly on the soft skills which we were not taught in school. There's still lots of room for improvement though :). Actually, I am glad that I have found this environment. It's a happy and positive environment, which is ideal for me, especially when I was in depression. The "chi" of the place is good for one's soul :). hmm... some of you might be thinking about what is this WBG... It's a network marketing company involved in MDM (multi-dimensional marketing). I shall not elaborate on this here. I am suppose to write on how to improve my EQ :). For more information, or if you are interested to join, you can email to indinine@gmail.com for more details.

I came across a book by Dale Carnegie titled "How to win friends and influence people." I have this book for very long already, but just haven't got the time and urge to read it. I want Aloysius to know some of the tips from this wonderful book while he's growing up. In order for him to get this knowledge and also to practice the tips effectively, the parents gotta set an example rite?? :)

I will have to find some time to read this book thoroughly. For now, I will write down the principles here. It's a reminder to myself too :) hmm... how to make all these into flashcards to show to Aloysius, I thought... hahaha...


Principle 1:
Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof," said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean."
- Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do.

Principle 2:
Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- The human nature: "The desire to be important."

Principle 3:
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Principle 4:
Become genuinely interested in other people.
- "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.

Principle 5:
Smile.
- Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless - that there is joy in the world.

Principle 6:
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle 7:
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principle 8:
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Principle 9:
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Principle 10:
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle 11:
Show respect to the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

Principle 12:
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principle 13:
Begin in a friendly way.

Principle 14:
Get the other person saying, "yes, yes" immediately.

Principle 15:
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Principle 16:
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Principle 17:
Try honestly to see tings from the other person's point of view.

Principle 18:
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

Principle 19:
Appeal to the nobler motives.

Principle 20:
Dramatize your ideas.

Principle 21:
Throw down a challenge.

Principle 22:
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Principle 23:
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

Principle 24:
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Principle 25:
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Principle 26:
Let the other person save face.

Principle 27:
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."

Principle 28:
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Principle 29:
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Principle 30:
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Shichida Method - Yes!

Last Saturday, me and my hubby went for a preview at Springleaf on the Shichida method. There are so many cute babies and kids around, and we did not really concentrate on what the speaker was talking about :P. Anyway, we gotta leave early too. We signed up for the class already, starting next term (January 2007) :) It gonna be a Sunday class at 4.15pm at HDB Hub. When I signed up, there are two more vacancies for that timeslot :) Anyone wanna join this class as well?? Maximum is 6 in a class.

Next is to plan when to go to UK and for how long... Aloysius gonna miss at least one session. We were told that we can ask the teacher to tell us what we have missed... hmm... that's very important :).

After the preview, we went to JB to attend my nephew's birthday in the evening. There were lots of kids and people. Aloysius was not his usual self :( He cried when my cousins carried him. hmm... Dunno is it that he has now developed strangers anxiety, or is it due to his fall from the bed :(. If it's due to the strangers anxiety, then I have not done my "tai jiao" well... Now, I gotta find out how to correct that behaviour. hmm... maybe he has lost the feeling of security... Hope he will be a happy baby again...

Last week, he would cry very hard when he woke up from his nap and sleep... This morning, he woke up with a smile again :) Hope he will be a happy baby again :) I have been reassuring him that "papa and mama love him and will protect him. Even por por, gong gong, nai nai, ye ye, will also love and protect him."


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Breakdown of the cost for Shichida Method:
(excluding GST. Please add GST of 5%, or in the near future, it will be 7%.)
$50 Registration fee (payable annually)
$780 Course fee (one term only)(weekend class)($745 for weekday classes)
$290 Parents seminar (both parents)(If 1 parent - $170)
$300 Deposit (refundable upon withdrawal with notice)

Aloysius at 5 months plus :)

So far, Aloysius can crawl with his two legs and his head buried on the mattress. He is crawling faster and faster now... That's why I was caught off-guard and he fell from the bed :'(. Poor boy... Today, he has changed his crying signals. He has been crying very hard for everything. Last time, he would be a happy baby when he woke up from his sleep. He would give me a sweet smile... Now, he will wake up with a loud cry... I think I gotta try to talk to him again when he's sleeping. hmm... What to say to correct this behaviour??

Last nite, I set up his cot again. I set up the cot bumper and put his pooh bears in it. And not forgetting his checker board. I bought some "laser stickers" and decorated the board. He seems very curious and interested in the colorful stickers... :) I gotta lower the cot to the lowest level already. He was holding on to the sides of the cot, trying to stand up. He have not got the strength to stand on his own from sitting position yet, but soon I think he will be able to do that. During bath, he already started to hold on to the sides to try to stand up.

Flashcards sessions:

Aloysius' flashcards sessions seem to get better now :) I am now very relaxed during the flashcards sessions. I will just flash them to him if he wanna look. If he looks away, I will put the cards away. I have changed the sessions :). Now, I flashed to him 10 English words in one session, and that's it. Then when there's opportunity, I will flash 10 Chinese words to him in one session. Then when he's still in the mood, I will show him 40 image flashcards :) He is such a dear boy... He will stare at them. Today, I managed to show him 10 even numbers and 10 odd numbers in dots :) And also 20 encyclopedic knowledge cards :). Yeah... Today achieved 100 cards...

Shocked and heartache!

This morning, I had a BIG shock! Aloysius fell off from the bed :'( sobs...
I brought him for a swim. After bathing him and dressing him, I gotta have my shower. So, I left him on the bed with a few toys which what I usually does... I will put heavy pillows at the sides of the bed. I have overlooked a small opening and he fell through that opening. He could crawl pretty well nowadays. I just started my shower and I heard his sudden cry... I rushed out to see and he's not on the bed. He fell into a corner and I immediately moved my bed and his cot to carry him out. Poor boy... He was lying there like an overturned turtle, and crying at the top of his voice with his hands and legs curled up :'(. I carried him tightly, and comforted him till he fell asleep. I used Kinertec V6 water to rub and rub at his head for at least half an hour. It was so red and looked a little blue black. Luckily, when he woke up, his head was not red anymore, and there's no bump... He's still a happy and active boy :)

3 more Shichida books!

hahaha... Maybe you will say that I am crazy over Shichida books now... I think maybe I am... I believe in the right brain training in babies and kids. Cos I believe in the power of our right brain - our subconscious mind.

I went to Bras Basah to help my friends to get the book by Shichida on speed reading. When I go for books shopping, I will tend to browse through many books.

In the end, to add to my collection, I bought 3 more books by Shichida for myself, and a book on healthy cooking.

One of the Shichida book is the new arrival which is about training our memory. I need that very much... lol... cos I am getting pretty forgetful. hmm... I think it's the results of undergoing too many general anaesthesia... I gotta "train" my memory back or to even a higher level. In the speed reading book, having good memory is also a key to speed reading using the right brain :).
The second book is about teaching kids to read, write, and count. I have browsed through the book briefly. It's about flashcards for reading and counting. Writing seems to start at 3 years old. A 6B pencil was recommended as a start.

The third book is about implementing Shichida's education method (qi1 tian2 shi4 jiao4 yu4 shi2 xian4 fa3). I have read through half of the book so far. It started with "tai1 jiao4" and about the mother's diet, and also the kid's diet. It seems like nutrition is very very important for the brain and eyes to grow very well. It's also one of the key to "tian1 cai2 er2 tong2". The mother and the kid should not eat food with processed salt and processed sugar. These will affect the brain's growth and ability. I am guilty of the processed sugar food during pregnancy, as I ate lots of cakes, breads, chocolates, etc :(. hmm... I hope my consumption of lots of Indinine and Vitality Plus will negate that effect :).

The book on healthy cooking is by "Ou1 Yang2 Ying1". It's about alternative health kind of cooking and food preparation. I browsed through the book, and is mainly interested in the diet during pregnancy, and how to replenish blood.

After getting these books, the book that I have ordered arrived. It's about the "most" healthy diet for health (Zhe4 yang4 chi1 zui4 jian4 kang1) by "Jiang1 Shu1 Hui4". It's quite an interesting read. I browsed through the book too.. The author is a doctor. She's a western doctor, then a TCM doctor, and now into alternative health.

This morning, I browsed through the book on "tian cai er tong" when I was tidying up my books. Shichida's point of view about learning a foreign language even though parents do no speak nor are familiar with the language. He stated that kids will be able to pick up the language even by listening to the CD of foreign language, or even write a story in the foreign language. When the kid reaches 3 years old, we can play the foreign language CD for half an hour a day when eating, and make it a habit. hmm... what about infants... Kids below 3 years old are not "supposed" to listen to too much "electronic voices", according to his book titled "ling2 shui4 jiao4 yu4 ji1 chu3". Even to listen to beautiful music, it gotta be limited to 15 - 30 minutes a day.


Flashcards Sesssions:

I have been trying to find out why Aloysius is not as interested as before during the flashcards sessions. hmm... seems like he does not like words. Now, I have been showing him more bits of intelligence cards. I used the cards from the encyclopedic set which I bought from GDbaby. He seems to love it.. He can take in 30 cards in one session. Then I used another sets of A5 images cards, I can flashed 40 cards in one session. I am doing flags of different countries. I was surprised... :) There's once, I just took out about 30 dot cards and flashed. He's still interested in the dots... :)



Ok, gotta stop here for today :) I am trying to summarise what I read from "ling2 shui4 jiao4 yu4 ji1 chu3" by Shichida. I haven't got much time though...

Later all...

One last thing is, we bought a new camera, and took some videos of Aloysius. He's crawling with his head buried in the bed, and with his two legs kicking. And he's jumping a lot now... Will try to figure out how to get video clips up here. Stay tuned... :)

Shichida Method - Yes or No (Episode 2)

Hello blogger,
hahaha... I am a little bit fickle minded here. I met up some friends who have been sending their kids to the Shichida course. The "lao jiao" one told me that the teacher is not the most important. The key is to do home practice and the know-how. Hence, I have decided that I will send Aloysius for the Shichida class. Now, gonna decide which timeslot and the location. Gonna find out more about the teachers there... hee... see if can find a good teacher. :)

Aloysius is 5 months old.

Aloysius is 5 months today :) So far, Aloysius has been a dear boy :) I thank him for being our child. His arrival has brought lots of happiness and joy for everyone in the family, and someone for us to care for and love. We are committed to care for him and provide him the best environment to grow up in. And not forgetting a gift that will last him a lifetime - learning opportunities.




hmm... talking about gift for our children... I have been thinking about it lately. My parents have the mentality that education is the greatest gift they can give their children. My parents had spent a lot of energy, efforts, and money on our education. I think it's true that education is the best gift. Different stages of education provides a different types of training. From my many years of education, I am confident that I can do better for the future generation. I really thank my parents for the gift they have given me...



Aloysius can crawl backwards now. He's trying to crawl forward. He can lift up his buttocks with his two legs and kick. He still cannot co-ordinate the buttocks lifting with his hands supporting his body. I think very soon, he will be able to do that. Now, he can only crawl forward with his buttocks up, legs kicking, and face and hand on the bed... hahaha... It's quite funny sometimes.

Last week, Aloysius had a slight fever for a day, plus diarrhoea for 3 days. After the fever, he had rashes all over his trunk and face. I am not sure what are the rashes. From alternative health, it could be his body doing some detox. He might be having a viral infection. It could be heat rash, cos when I switched on the aircondition for the whole day, his rashes were not so obvious. I did not bring him to the doctor, cos he's still actively playing, laughing and was sleeping well. If I did bring him to the doctor, I might not apply the gels or creams (worse if it's steroids) on him. I just feed him more Indinine, and wipe him with Kinertec V6 water a few times a day. He bathed in chlorine free water anyway, so one less thing to "troubleshoot". Today, he has recovered from the rashes. Amazingly, his skin is smoother than before. :)

Last Saturday, we brought Aloysius to the zoo after he woke up from his morning nap. By the time we reached the zoo after our lunch, he's already ready for his next nap.. hahaha... He just saw the Malayan Tapir, and he fell asleep for a good one hour. We went to see the feeding of the white tigers and the Pygmy Hippo with him still sleeping... We saw the babirusa, Emu, kangaroos, and baboons. Then we went for the elephants' show. Aloysius woke up then :) I think he had enjoyed watching the elephants spraying water from their trunks and the show... Then we re-traced our route back and showed Aloysius the swimming Pygmy Hippo, white tigers, and otters. Remembering what I had read in Shichida book, I keep talking and describing the animals that he looked at. Next time, when I have more energy, will read to him from the sign boards :).

Yesterday, after we attended a friend's baby's full month, we went to Northpoint for dinner and meet up with Aloysius' "ye-ye" and "nai-nai". He was very happy and keep laughing :) I guessed he must have made them very happy too. After dinner, we walked pass a roadshow by Canon and Harvey Norman. Me and hubby have been looking for a new digital camera. We finally bought an Ixus60, with a free battery and 2GB of memory cards. Yeah! More photos on the way... :) We also got a Canon rather compact photo printer.



Over the weekend, I was revising "how smart is your baby" book. I reckoned Aloysius is at the stage of appreciation of details already. It was stated that I can put away the checker boards for the next baby already... hahaha.. I haven't even finish making it! I was rather disappointed then. To make it more complete, I cut more shapes and pasted on the board to take a picture of my "work". To my surprise, he loves it! hahaha... I can leave the board a little while more to stimulate his eyesight :)

From the book, it's also stated that baby will be able to crawl at 3 months if the motor skills stimulation are done well... hmm... I think I haven't done much for his motor skills stimulation :(. I could have done more. It's like a gym workout to do the motor skills stimulation with him. It involves lots of hand muscles on my side. Great workout!


GD Flashcards program:

Aloysius is interested in the flashcards again :) Yeah! He seems to be most attentive at the flashcards at nite. However, I am worried that the yellow lighting is not good for his eyesight.. I am now doing 2 sets of English, 2 sets of Chinese, and random maths multiple steps equations, plus 10 bits of intelligence.

Shichida course.. yes or no??

hmm... I have been thinking of sending Aloysius for the Shichida course in Singapore... After reading so many books by Shichida, I have an idea about opening ESP (extra sensory perception), right brain training, etc. However, I just feel that there's something missing. I read about the know-how, but I am not comfortable to practice it without someone to show me how... I guess I am a visual person. The first most important thing to ESP is love. Then relaxation, and image training. ESP seems like the key to learning, reading or memory at lightning speed... Yesterday, when I revised one of the books, kids with ESP will have high EQ too.

I even have thought of the idea of flying to Japan to attend the courses by Dr. Makoto Shichida. That's only a dream for now...

I am also asking around for feedback from friends who send their kids to the Shichida course in Singapore. hmm... so far, the feedback is not so positive... I am having doubts about sending Aloysius there. Home practice is very very important. In Shichida books, "love" is very important, which is lacking in the SM in Singapore. Shichida advocates a holistic way... The franchise in Singapore gives me a feeling that they are very commercialised... hmm... I am looking for alternatives now. There's someone who was trained by Dr. Shichida personally on right brain training, and is training kids below 3 years old. I still yet to find out where and more details. I feel that it's a bit not so ideal to send Aloysius to a place without much "love". Whatever the teachers or trainers think in their mind, kids with ESP will pick them up easily. It's getting a bit abstract here... I do not want Aloysius to pick up the feelings of the trainers if they are just going through motion and books. It might cause him to just go through motion next time for the sake of doing them... If the trainers are just doing what they are doing for money, it will be in their subconscious mind. Kids with ESP will pick up those mentality too. It's also about the energy of the center or school. I dunno if you understand what I am talking about. hmm... I cannot really explain in words here... arggghhh... My language is so poor...

Anyway, I am looking for alternatives. If you do come across anything like this, do let me know ok??

Recently, I browsed through the websites of Singapore Brain and ECC... Singapore Brain is a franchise from America, and it's a different way of training the processing of the brain. I think Singapore brain will help my nephew who is 9 years old now. I brought him for an assessment there :). hahaha.. after the boss run through what the courses is like, I think I need to train my brain processing too! I have a feeling I am totally left brain now :( Or maybe "permanently head damaged" already even before I get my PhD in paper form... lol... For ECC, if the principle is teaching personally, I might send Aloysius there :).